I’m totally late answering this, but I guess the simple answer is that I’m there for here. Whatever she wants to talk about, or whenever she needs to vent, I’m there. I guess I try and be like a safe haven.
Hey everyone, Lucas here. I’ve got a little story for you. So we, TCT, were at Sharps Bar in Jonesborough a few weeks ago. We played a pretty good show that night and were approached by a few promoters, managers, etc afterwards. Well there was the one guy, calls himself “New York”. Now mind…
I’m actually committing myself to actually writing on here. The tons of pictures I reblog are very pretty, but I actually have a lot to say on here believe it or not. Half the time I’m just too lazy to type it lol. Sad.
I’ve actually never had one. I grew up having a pretty good habit of taking people’s traits, philosophies, mindsets, and adapting to them, appreciating and seeing them for what they are. But I’m getting a little older now, and I’m starting to realize that there are a few things that I need from a woman at this point in my life. So I decided to make a list. I think most guys will agree when they read this, and maybe ladies will read something they didn’t expect.
Firstly, expressive: No one likes a dull person. Neither do I. I love to see different dimensions of people’s personalities, from distinct traits, to the little expressions and hand gestures. They’re beautiful. Flaunt them.
Secondly, curious: I’d like to meet a person who seeks to understand. Both individuals in a couple will have interests that the opposite member could care less about. But an opportunity to understand your spouse better is golden, even if it means being occasionally baffled.
Calm natured, but strong: I’ll be real. Coming up in the black community, I’m tired as hell of women with attitudes. They don’t make you strong, they make you loud. Still, this doesn’t at all mean that I wan’t someone completely submissive. I’m up for a real challenge. I’d rather a woman who shoot a word, or a look, and shut me up completely then a loud little girl who I’d ignore anyway.
Honest about their feelings: Naturally, I like being on good terms with my significant other, and will do what I can to keep it that way. But sometimes, since I’m human and all, I’ll mess up. And though I’m always willing to fix it, I can’t do that if I don’t know what you’re mad about. And I’ll be real again, this whole guessing game? We guys are tired of it. "Oh you’re just supposed to know"bullshit. Men of a certain mindset seek to understand our woman’s feelings. We just ask for a bit of help. Vocalize a bit, and you’ll get what you want. But just sitting somewhere and sulking with your arms crossed is just immature.
Competent: The “Clueless” age is over. It’s time to be a woman. We have shortcomings, I have plenty, but don’t expect people to just accept them. Accept constructive criticism, work on them, and improve yourself, like we all need to.
Works on Reason: Men tend to generalize women by saying that they put their emotions over pure common sense. That’s because a lot of them do. We all do sometimes, men and women. But, I need a woman who knows what’s petty and what’s important. Understand, though we have little pet peeves here and there, we are on the same team here.
Builds not destroys: Although I’d love to say that I’m a fairly humble person sometimes[ahem], I’m still a man, meaning that I’m a prideful creature at the core. As I open up to a woman, I’m making myself vulnerable[We guys can have problems with that] and giving her a lot of power. I’m trusting you. Don’t use it against us.
Helps me shatter gender roles: I am a man, and all that it implies. I’m athletic, intelligent, formidable, and confident. And, as a husband, I will cook, clean, and maybe even do hair when needed. I will be encouraging and nurturing to my family, a symbol of strength and tenderness. All that good stuff. I just need to learn how. Be patient with me. I’m not such a bad cook already, but I could use some guidance, and I won’t leave you to slave over the cleaning either. But most importantly, teach me how to be delicate with your feelings. I’m young, cynical, and rough around the edges, but just work with me, and I’ll get there.
That’s my list. I’m sure some are surprised that I didn’t put anything like “pays for her own meals” or “is good in bed” in there. Don’t get me wrong, I love gorgeous energetic women who are independent and can use sex like a weapon. But what I’m really looking for is far beneath the surface. I hope I gave someone a new perspective, and I’d actually love to see a woman’s side of this list. I’m all about learning.